The Kansas City Chiefs aka Shawn Michaels

I remember when Shawn Michaels threw Marty Jannety through the mirror of Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake's Barbershop thus starting his solo career as a wrestler. Michaels and Jannety teamed up as The Rockers. Their main objective was to get beat up by Demolition, The Hart Foundation, The British Bulldogs, The Legion of Doom and The Twin Towers. I was shocked when Michaels got a push as a singles wrestler and I was even more shocked when he actually started making waves. The Kansas City Chiefs have essentially been the Shawn Michaels that got his tail kicked in The Rockers. This years’ version of the Chiefs will be the HBK Shawn Michaels who went on to be one of the biggest wrestlers the world has ever known.



I have to start this off by saying that I despise Trent Green. I’m sure he’s a nice guy and all but he is one of the worst decision makers I’ve ever seen at the quarterback position. I don’t have an official stat on this but I’m sure if you checked it out, you’d find that Trent Green leads the league in interceptions in the red zone and interceptions returned for touchdowns. I had him on my fantasy team in 2001 and he was extremely bad. In fact, I remember multiple occasions when he got me negative points. That aside, the Chiefs were the #1 offense in the NFL last year. In what seems unfathomable, Vermeil has an offensive juggernaut with Green at quarterback and Larry, Mo, and Curley at wide receiver. In a move that clearly proves that the Chiefs don’t pay attention to the NFC, Freddie Mitchell was brought in to bolster the receiving corps. Tony Gonzalez is what makes the offense go. He’s so physically dominating at the tight end position that he’s a mismatch for any defender. The offense line is mammoth. There isn’t a better 1-2 punch in the backfield than Priest Holmes and Larry Johnson. In fact, I think Johnson is one of the top five backs in the league. He’s an excellent pass receiver and he’s a load to bring down. Priest is a touchdown machine. With Johnson in the fold, Priest won’t have to carry the ball as much. Dante Hall is clearly the best return man in the NFL. He’s a threat to take it back every game which he proved two years ago by returning a punt for a touchdown in five straight games. I’ve spent a good amount of time talking about stuff that you already know. The Chiefs are sweet on offense.



This is where Shawn Michaels turns on Marty Jannety and becomes the Heartbreak Kid. The Chiefs have been deplorable on defense for as long as I can remember. They brought in Gunther Cunningham last year but that only made Cunningham look bad. This year, they actually addressed the problem. The defense has been completely revitalized with four superstar-caliber players. Patrick Surtain and Sammy Knight came over from Miami. Surtain is one of the five best cover men in the league. He’ll also be a god-send since Randy Moss is now on the schedule twice a year. Kendrell Bell came over from Pittsburgh. Bell is an animal at linebacker which is something the Chiefs haven’t had since the late Derrick Thomas played. They also drafted Derrick Johnson who might just end up being the best defensive player taken in this years’ draft. The Chiefs will be able to play smash-mouth football on defense. I’ve been able to see a lot of Chiefs games over the last few years. Every game they’ve played has been a shootout. In just about every game, the Chiefs had a legitimate chance to win. I heard Trent Green talking the other day on TV and he mentioned that in 14 of the 16 games last year, KC either entered the 4th quarter tied or with the lead. The defense was the difference in making the playoffs and staying home. That won’t be the case this year. In every other year, the defense has been the x-factor. This year, the x-factor might just be Trent Green.

Since the Chiefs play in a pretty tough division, I wouldn’t say they have a kind schedule. Oakland will be better than everyone thinks. Denver is overrated but they’re still a dangerous team. San Diego is one of the better teams in the NFL. The Chiefs haven’t been very good within their division in the last few years so I’m skeptical to predict them to be better than .500. However, I think the Chiefs are going to be a complete team this year. They’ll take care of business against lesser teams so I see them going 4-2 in the division. They get Washington, Miami, Houston, Cincinnati and the NY Giants which really should be five wins but I’ll give them 4-1 because of the “any given Sunday” rule. The rest of the schedule has the Jets, Philly, Buffalo, New England, and Dallas. I think 3-2 is a reasonable record in those games.

Predicted record: 11-5


Just for the heck of it....